As the chords of the Preobrazhensky March echoed across Red Square, marking the start of Russia’s annual Victory Parade, a hum of surprise spread through the crowd, followed by gasps and then cheers. Immaculate in their dress uniforms, a detachment of US Marines entered the parade, their polished boots reflecting the early May sunshine. At the centre of the rostrum above Lenin’s mausoleum, Vladimir Putin turned and embraced his American guest of honour. Donald Trump beamed. Finally, a proper parade, a proper welcome from a proper leader.
As the military spectacle drew to a close, the leaders retired to a gala dinner in the glittering surroundings of the Kremlin’s Catherine Hall. In front of 2,000 guests, they toasted a new age of economic, diplomatic and military cooperation between their two great countries. President Trump promised to push for the permanent and complete lifting of all sanctions on Russia, and the withdrawal of what he called “unnecessary” US forces in Europe. President Putin pledged his country’s support in dealing with “common problems”, starting with what he called “offensive” European Union efforts to regulate the single market. “Your data giants and our energy companies are similarly disadvantaged by the Brussels bureaucrats” he declaimed. “And together we will deal with it.” He concluded with a flourish: “Americans and Russians beat the Nazis then. We’ll do it again now”.
After dinner, the leader and their closest aides retired to Putin’s private Kremlin quarters — a rare honour — for informal drinks and discussion. In a thoughtful touch, the Russian president had an aide bring President Trump a cheeseburger; the American guest had barely touched the stuffed sturgeon steak in champagne sauce.
“I like simple food too,” the Russian president confided. “Indeed, we have so much in common, Donald” he continued in his accented but fluent English. “We both believe in a strong state with a strong leader. We understand that business and power work hand in hand. I have made Russia great again. You have made America great again.”
Trump’s face flushed with pleasure. His diplomatic masterstroke had paid off beyond his wildest dreams. Only a year ago, in 2025, he had been floundering, with his tariff wars tanking the economy, his bluff called by China, and his Ukraine peace plan roundly rejected by that pesky Volodymyr Zelensky and his European friends.
How quickly they had folded. He had not just cut off intelligence support and military aid to the Ukrainians. He had ordered the Supreme Allied Commander Europe, the senior US military officer in Nato, to return to Washington DC. Faced with instructions to pull the US out of Nato’s command structure, General Christopher G. Cavoli had resigned. He was never replaced. The message to the Europeans — and their friends in the US — was clear: get in my way and you are on your own.
Nato countries turned to Britain for leadership. One simple move put paid to that. A Royal Navy Vanguard-class submarine was heading to the Kings Bay naval base in Georgia for routine maintenance of its Trident missiles. In a terse message to the British prime minister Keir Starmer, delivered, insultingly, by a junior defense attaché from the London embassy, the Brits were warned that “scheduling difficulties” would mean that the service, vital for keeping the nuclear deterrent operational, would be postponed indefinitely. In 25 words, the United States had shown just how special the “special relationship” really was.
Deprived of leadership and military support, and awash with millions of refugees from a broken and despairing Ukraine. Europe flailed. The Nordic and Baltic countries, along with Poland, circled the wagons, trying desperately to create a regional collective defence alliance. Other European countries swallowed their pride and tried to restore their relations with Russia.
But the United States had got in first. Under the slogan “сверли, детка, сверли”, US oil and companies had picked up the threads of the businesses they abandoned when sanctions were imposed following the full-scale invasion of Ukraine. Russian money flooded into the United States too. Much of it benefited the Trump business empire.
In the background, a pianist quietly played Moscow Nights … the dawn's becoming ever brighter. So please, just be good. Don't you, too, forget These summer, Moscow nights.
Putin leaned towards Trump. “Tomorrow we will take things to the next level,” he said. I have a small surprise for you – a gift. I have found a site for Trump Tower Moscow. I hope you will do me the honour of accompanying me to visit it.”
Trump summoned his secretary of state, Lara Loomer – so much better than that two-faced Marco Rubio, whom he had so enjoyed firing last year. “We have some ideas too,” he said, producing sheets of paper with bullet points in bold typeface and large font. Trump was never a details man.
“First thing is the EU. You don’t like it. I don’t like it. Very nasty people. Let’s deal with them. You offer Germany a gas and oil deal. We tell the Germans to take it. The EU complains. Germans ignores them. End of EU. No more problems for our tech guys. No more problems for you.”
With a wave, Trump invited defence secretary Majorie Taylor Greene to perch on the side of the couch. “Next up is Nato. It’s finished. We’re done. Majorie here is ordering all US troops out of Europe by the year-end. You deal with these countries as you like. But no shooting. Just tickle them a little, like you did in where was it – Latvia?”
Putin smiled sardonically. Russian hooligans, led by plain-clothes officers from the GRU military intelligence, had recently stormed Latvian government offices, burning down the Saiema parliament building in Riga in protest against “discrimination” against Russian-speakers. “We have many ways of making our views known,” he said cryptically — official Kremlin sources had strenuously denied any involvement. Putin gestured to his foreign intelligence chief, Sergei Naryshkin, who came over to the group, but stood awkwardly waiting to be asked to sit down.
“Naryshkin here has many more ideas,” said Putin, ostentatiously leaving his sidekick standing. The spymaster creased his face into his trademark vulpine smile. “Excellencies,” he said, “we have identified the most difficult and troublesome people in every country in Europe. They are sometimes politicians, sometimes officials, sometimes journalists, sometimes academics or think-tankers. Despite our successes they still pose difficulties for us
“Lock ‘em up!” said Trump. “That’s what I did.”
“Indeed, Mr President,” continued Naryshkin smoothly, “and you have the great good fortune to have the levers of power in your hands, a result of your great election victory.”
Trump scowled, happily. His limited attention span made complex questions tiring. It was always good to return to his favorite subject.
“They got the message, good and hard” he said.
“But in most European countries, we do not yet have that power, so my suggestion is that we use the technique developed by one of your predecessors — in English it is called ‘rendition’”.
Trump struggled briefly with the idea that any of his predecessors could have done anything praiseworthy.
“Just as you seized potential terrorists anywhere in the world, we will do the same to these troublemakers. Our penetration of European government security structures, and our domestic surveillance, has advanced greatly. Our special forces now travel freely within Europe. They can bring almost anyone to Moscow within hours. We can either put them on trial for extremism here, or simply kill them, and let their friends, shall we say, digest their disappearance.”
Trump nodded, thoughtfully. At home, he had a similarly, and signally successful policy: depriving Americans of citizenship and deporting them to jails in El Salvador. It worked particularly well with those pesky judges and lawyers. This sounded pleasantly familiar.
Putin interjected “This will not only deal with these troublemakers as individuals, it will also strike fear into all others of this type.” He nodded brusquely to Naryshkin, who continued.
“Mr President. As a sign of friendship, we invite you to prioritise those who you have found particularly disrespectful or difficult.
Trump frowned. Revenge ranked along with golf as his favourite hobby. “Posobiec will give you names,” he said, pointing at his national security adviser. “But start with those Europeans. Who’s that blonde chick, the shouty one?”
Foreign minister Lavrov leaned into the group. “That would be Kaja Kallas, Mr President, the former Estonian prime minister and then the so-called foreign minister of the European Union. I believe her family already has some connections with our beautiful, faraway region of Siberia. It will be my pleasure to ensure that she renews them.”
The Kremlin clock chimed through the small hours. Night was falling deeply over Moscow. And all of Europe was in its shadow.